Script Study

Does this 10-page mystery hold your attention or did you see the end reveal coming?

LINE NOTESSCRIPT STUDY

4/3/20261 min read

The writer of this 10-page mystery intends to “execute” this script, so I’m assuming that means they’re going to shoot it, in which case, most of the formatting and punctuation errors don’t matter. But if the script was a contest entry or being read by potential financiers, then enhancing the readability is definitely something to work on, so we’re going to make comments regarding that, too.

It’s a budget-friendly piece, adding appeal. Stock footage could easily be used, keeping expenses down, and the decision to have no speaking parts is a good one.

Clues are drip-fed regularly into the plot, enough so to keep us engaged, but structurally, there’s no huge point of no return, and the time-passing sequences aren’t delivering much new or pivotal info, they feel a little cliché, and they could be working harder to keep us hooked.

Returning to the original status quo at the end brings the plot full circle. We’re left wondering how Thomas is financing this pointless hunt while he consciously chooses to use the search to give his life purpose. Ultimately, Thomas is left feeling more satisfied than the audience is, but there are no rules to say that’s not allowed.

Overall, the visuals are doing the majority of the talking here, which is great. Yes, a lot of that is reading text on screen, which isn’t ideal, as that means a lot of prolonged shots with no movement, so there is scope to be more dynamic. Short films are primarily used as calling cards for a director or writer, so how a short LOOKS is arguably more important than the plot.

If you’d like Instagram line notes on your script, send it in PDF form to scriptreaderscheatsheet@gmail.com. There’s no guarantee that your script will be used, as I only pick ones with something worth talking about, and by sending your script in, you’re giving express permission for excerpts to be posted publicly. The writer's name will be kept private unless stated otherwise by the writer themselves.

That’s the script, now here are my notes: